dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
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We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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