I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
