Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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