Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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