sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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