But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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