I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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