Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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