This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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