he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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