The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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