I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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