if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
