I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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