I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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