Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
