Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
