girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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