How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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