i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
