she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
