You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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