oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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