dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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