We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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