my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
