You work out of a Hotel?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
