When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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