I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
time to smoke my breakfast
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
