i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize