saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize