Porn is love you can see.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
