is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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