Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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