Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
