this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
