I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I supernannyed him into submission
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
