her vagina looked like bernie madoff
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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