oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
