shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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