used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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