i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
