she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
