Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
