Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
