But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
