So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
