Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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