your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
