We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just puked most of my soul out..
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