Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
