when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
