it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
