I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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