There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
