Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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