Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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